My Thoughts on life, Romans, and some other not so pleasant things...

There's a lot going on in the world right now. Just to catch you all up...

Obama is President.

Osama Bin Laden is dead, and Obama is taking credit for it.

Donald Trump is running for president.

Japan is crumbling...literally.

The southern region of the United States is being plundered by tornadoes.

We are killing our babies before they're even born.

People eat McDonald's Big Mac's like they're candy, then wonder why they're obese.

Well, that's just about enough to give you a good idea of where it looks like we're heading, not only as a country, but as a race. To be honest, I've been feeling a little down about the state of the world in which I live lately. And while I'm being extremely transparent, I know why!

My relationship with my God has not been where it should be the last few weeks. I think we all know what it's like to get in a 'rut' in our spiritual lives, but I don't think I've personally been in one I didn't know how to get out of. I wasn't enjoying my alone time with God in the mornings, which progressed to not making it a priority, which led to not doing it (because cleaning the house was more important....??), which moved on to feeling guilty about not doing it. Which led to me being a rotten, awful, stinking MESS!

I'll say my "rut recovery" started on Easter. Not only was it Resurrection Sunday, but it was my 1 year anniversary of marriage (post coming soon!!). Marc, our music pastor at our church, sang Arise, My Love, and I bawled. And bawled. And, as is typical for me once I start crying; I didn't stop for the rest of the service. It was powerful. Then, preacher spoke on 'The Folded Napkin" and the significance it has (see John 20:7). He told us of a Jewish tradition that was this: A Jewish master often would leave the table for short amounts of time during the meal. As a sign to the servant, he would either crumple his napkin or fold his napkin and leave it on the table before he left. A crumpled napkin meant he would not be returning. A folded napkin meant he would be returning to finish his meal. Now, apply that to Jesus' resurrection, and the significance of the napkin about his head being folded...not crumpled. Our Jesus us returning, His work is not done.

Do you know what that means? Jesus isn't done with me, either. If I'm still breathing, Jesus isn't done with me yet! I have a reason for being here. Jesus can still use me, and He will, if I just let Him. I often times don't realize the 'bigness' of this... and I can't explain it to you, because I want YOU to feel it.

The other thing that helped me get out of my rut: Romans, chapter 3. First, before I go on, I will tell you what a huge deal it is for me to cry. For most girls, the instinct emotional reaction to just about anything is sadness. Whether it's a fight with your man, something didn't go right for you, or you feel alone, most girls default to sadness, which usually leads to crying. Notice; I'm leaving room open here for the girls like me, who default to anger. I don't get sad very easily. I don't get extremely happy unless I'm excited about something. Most of the emotions that lead to tears, I don't experience very strongly unless it's something huge. Life altering, let's say. With that said, I bawled my way through Romans 3 this morning.

The section that really got me today is verses 9-20. It talks about how there is none righteous. And while reading this, I realized, "God didn't have to send Jesus for us." I mean...I already knew that. But there is a difference between knowing, and knowing. I think you probably know what I mean when I say that.

Well, there's my tidbit for today. It's random, scattered, and probably doesn't make any sense, but hopefully you can tell it's from my heart. I am praying about making this blog more of a ministry to women, and people in general. Thoughts are welcome, as are prayers! I have an intense desire to minister to the women at my church, I just don't know how to do that yet.

Until next time,

Ash