~ Pure ~

There's no way to describe how purely awesome having this tiny life inside of me is, but if I were to try, it's...

Pure awe when I feel your tiny feet and little hands kicking and punching, and I wonder if you'll be awake this much when you get here.

Pure expectation when I poke you, and you kick exactly where I pushed.

Pure anticipation when I see the baby swing in the corner of my living room and I imagine what you'll look like all curled up in it.

Pure love when I look forward and imagine what I'll feel when I hold you for the first time.

Pure emotion every time I think about watching Daddy hold you for the first time.

Pure joy when I think about watching Daddy teach you how to throw a ball in the backyard.

Pure wonder when I ask how I could be so blessed whilst puking for the fourth time that day.

Pure reverence when I think of the miracle it took to get you inside of me and of the God who put you there.

Pure thankfulness when I remember that I have been blessed with you when I don't deserve any child, especially you.

Pure delight when I see you squirming on the ultrasound screen and wonder what you're thinking.

Pure gratefulness (and to be honest, pure terror) when I think of the responsibility we have been given to raise you for Him, and not for us.


Pure happiness when I feel you punching to the beat of the tune I'm humming, and know you already have rhythm from within the womb!

Pure awesome, ALL the time.


Oh, how I love this little baby.

The Big One

This post title could refer to many things...

The size of my ever growing belly...

The 'big' ultrasound that is scheduled for tomorrow...

Baby Jack, since he's now the size of a mango...

And, it's basically all of those and none of those. I just couldn't come up with a better blog title. I am waxing ineloquent in my pregnant state, which falls under the category of "pregnancy brain," of which I have about 17 episodes/day. I seriously love being pregnant, it keeps me on my toes!

I read somewhere that the babies 'home,' also known as my uterus, grows the most between weeks 18-20. I am currently 19 weeks, and I believe it. This belly has come out of nowhere... I woke up one morning and it was just as big as when I went to bed the night before. I participate in a silly game on my pregnancy forum... it is truly pure silliness but it's so fun and I haven't the slightest idea why. Each week, we measure our belly with toilet paper and see how many squares it takes to go all the way around. At 17 weeks it was 8 1/2 squares. At 18 weeks it was 10 squares, and at 19 weeks.... it was 12 squares. Let's not take that thought process any further or I will be the size of a football stadium by the time Jack decides to make his appearance!

Tomorrow is the big anatomy scan! I am secretly petrified that they will tell me I am ACTUALLY having a girl, even though that should be the least of my worries. They're going to be measuring every part of his little body to make sure it all looks healthy. Normally (if we hadn't cheated), we'd be finding out the sex tomorrow too, BUT, we are impatient people :) I can't wait to see if he has daddy's legs! Doc says between me feeling the baby as a first time mom at around 14 weeks, my brother AND my husband both breaking their waters with kicks (Hubby was a month early, brother was 2 weeks early!), baby probably has some pretty strong legs. And well, if you look at Daddy's legs, you'd wonder if there was a possibility of Jack not having strong legs.

Can I just say again how awesome it is to be pregnant? I mean, I'm running out of ways to describe the awesome-itude. I puked everyday for 3 months and I still think it was fun. Now that I can feel baby super well, I sit back in my papasan chair everyday and just feel him, and then when I feel him I can't help but pray for him. It's my favorite part of the day. I am starting to be able to feel him when I'm up and around too! It's so surreal to know that one time, this not-so-little-anymore baby was the size of a poppy seed. I can't believe I look at his ultrasound pictures everyday and I remember what a miracle baby he is. I know God has something special in mind for him.

Also, can I just say how incredible it is to love someone you've never even seen as much as I love this baby?

Goal #1: Never forget how God worked a miracle. Goal #2: Enjoy EVERY second of this pregnancy, and then his life.

Oh boy. I need prayers. :)

4 1/2 Months Pregnant???

I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but yes, on Monday I will be 18 weeks pregnant. I think yesterday I was 12 weeks.

And right about now is when I start getting a little panicky that the only baby things we have in this house are a crib, a bouncy seat, some shoes, and a few onesies. Did I mention my house is a mess and every corner needs organized???

Ahem. So, about the delay between blog posts these days... sorry about that. Between either puking, chasing after a 50 pound 4 month old puppy or having a busy schedule, blogging has been pushed back to the "I really should do that soon, but the 14 other things on my list come first" category. Let's just say time management has been a skill I'm pretty sure God is trying to teach me these last few weeks.

So, on to the good stuff! SO. So. Sooooooo much has happened since I last wrote. I will do my best to do at least bi-weekly updates from here on out. But for now, we will play catch up.

I think around 11 weeks I started to feel the flutters of baby Dashlee. Pretty much everyone tells me that's impossible, especially for a first time mom, but, I mean really, if I can feel ovulation, pretty sure I can feel something the size of a peach moving around inside me. I am basically enthralled with baby. I take my prenatal and other vitamins with orange juice at night, right before bed, so whenever I lay down I can feel baby going CRAZY. Daddy still can't feel it from the outside yet, which to be honest is a little weird to me, since it's so clearly the baby moving to me.

FINALLY, after 3 months straight of Zofran everyday and still feeling nauseous with major food aversions, at 16 weeks baby Dashlee let me stop puking. I have never appreciated what it is to enjoy food and not feel like utter poop as I do now. Oh, also, thanks for the boost of energy, kid! I have enough to do my daily duties AND still do a little bit extra. This is huge progress.

At the end of 16 weeks, we scheduled a 3d/4d ultrasound to see little baby Dashlee's gender! Let me tell you, I am convinced at this point I'm having a girl. All my dreams are about girls, I have all the girl symptoms I've heard, I just 'feel' like it's a girl... NOPE! Baby Dashlee is a BOY! During the ultrasound I was literally staring at boy parts and I was still expecting her to type 'girl' on the screen. That's how delusionally convinced I was. Dan got a video of my reaction and it's pretty hilarious, I've never seen myself look so shocked. But, no matter how much I thought it was a girl, I am PSYCHED for my little boy! I always wanted a boy first, because I ALWAYS wanted an older brother growing up. I've got more practice with boys. I always wanted a little cuddly Mama's boy... and he'll be here in September! And yep, we have a name... Jack David Wilkenson.

He will be a MAN-CHILD!!! ;-)

Some days I still don't feel pregnant. I know I am, I can feel my uterus being the size of a cantelope these days, I feel Jack moving all around in there, I feel hungry all. the. time. But, it also feels too good to be true most of the time. I am SO blessed already, and now I have this cute little baby bundle on the way... who is, by the way, a miracle of epic proportions. I feel like it's impossible to thank God enough for answering all our prayers. Sometimes, I get all apathetic and just quit saying thank you (hey, just being honest and open here) because I know I can't say it enough times. And then I get convicted (Thank you Jesus for the Holy Spirit), and start all over again.

I also told Dan I think I want to be pregnant for the rest of my life (with different babies. Don't freak out.). I quite enjoy this feeling and I'm 100% positive I want more kids. Could something be more amazing than a little tiny poppy seed sized cell growing into a big sweet potato sized baby (Jack's that big already??) right inside of me???

I think that's enough for one blog post! Oh wait, maybe some pictures ;)

 Sweet Baby Jack! Cute already!

 17 Weeks of cute baby bump!

And last but not least, my prep for Jack. Boy is he a pain, but he sure is cute!

P.S. I know you all are still praying, and THANK YOU. Dan and I have been overwhelmed by your generosity already in just praying, and now we're being showered with gifts and free things and hugs. It's all amazing. Having people be excited with you is 5,000 times more fun than going it alone. :)

Fetal Anatomy 101

For lack of a better way to do a post on fetal anatomy, I am breaking down this series by trimesters. This post will be on weeks 1-13! I will have the other two trimesters on my blog at a later date, chroniclesofthedashlees@blogspot.com!

Since I can't see a reason to add another extremely long paragraph to this blog post, I'm skipping the description of what goes on in the first two weeks of the embryo's life because, well.... there is no embryo. There are two weeks in the life of an egg that occur before fertilization that are quite important and vital to the health of the embryo, but this blog post will already be incredibly long and heaven forbid I lose your attention. SO. Let's begin.

Fertilization: Sperm meets egg, they make baby. This occurs in the mother's Fallopian tube (usually). As soon as one sperm penetrates the inner layer of the egg, no other sperm will be able to get past the egg's outer shell. The fertilized egg (now called an Oocyte) will travel down the fallopian tube into the uterus, where it will shed it's outer protective shell and implant itself into the endometrial lining, thusly, beginning week 4 of it's development.

An embryo at week 4, about the time a woman finds out she is pregnant. Clearly seen, are the heart, rudimentary circulatory system, and brain.

An embryo at week 7. Eyes, nose, mouth and ears are evident, along with limbs and elbows.

Weeks 4-8 are the most vital to the embryos health, development, and overall growth. By this time, the first cells that started dividing 2 weeks ago are now organized into a reptilian-resembling shape, forming a functional circulatory system and a working brain, neural tube, and nerves. Some say this is the point where the embyro begins to feel nudges and vibrations, though he won't respond to them until later, when the muscles and the bones are more stable and intact to allow movement. At week 5, the heart will beat steadily. The four chambers of the heart are developed and fully functional, and there's even an elementary form of blood flowing through the veins and arteries. Arm and leg buds appear as little stumps in the middle of the fetal pole. The lungs, kidneys, and brain develop at a rapid rate. At week 6, the eyes start to develop rapidly. The lenses are formed, and though they are not functional yet, all the groundwork is laid out for the little one to start sensing light changes at around 15 weeks. The embryo begins to look less reptilian and more human every day, as even a little nose bud begins to form, nostrils and all. The main focus of growth this week: the pancreas and intestines. By week 7, elbows, fingers, and toes are in the works. An ultrasound at this point would show movement of the arms and legs, and, if he's active, he may even move his little butt around. The muscles and ligaments are getting stronger by the minute, and allow for more precise and controlled movements. Inside the umbilical cord, intestines are forming. Yes, I said inside the umbilical cord. There's really no room in that skinny little belly for them right now, with the heart taking up 1/4 the room available. Teeth begin to form under the gums in the mouth. As week 8 approaches, the head to torso ratio begins to even out, and on an ultrasound you would see a little baby, not a weird-looking-alien-parasite-thing. In the blueprints this week; eyes, cartilage, bone, tongue, and general size. This week is a huge growth spurt for baby. Generally, any life-threatening chromosomal abnormalities will have caused a miscarriage by this point. Baby will go from the size of a blueberry at week 7, to the size of a raspberry by week 8. And well, that's a lot of growing when you're less than an inch long.

A fetus at 9 weeks old. Looking like a baby!

Weeks 9 and 10 are momentous for baby in more ways than one. First, the little tyke has graduated... from an embryo to a fetus! As far as organs and tissues, everything is present and accounted for, though yet some remain unfunctional for another few weeks. Reflexes are fully developed, and most researchers will agree that at this point the baby will feel everything that happens to it - nudges, shifts, and vibrations. The baby will curl it's hand around anything it finds, and may start thumb sucking. Fingerprints are already starting to form! By week ten, Mom can start to relax, because the most crucial period of development for the fetus is over. Now, the head and the body have equal proportions, as that brain needs plenty of space to grow. Eye color is determined at this point, and the eyelids are fused shut to allow for development of the irises. The placenta now takes over most of the nutritional and oxygen needs of the baby as the yolk sac that has been feeding the baby until now gets used up. At 9 weeks, the baby is .9 inches long... by 10 weeks he will be a full 1 1/2 inches long! Growing like a weed.

Baby at 12 weeks, surrounded by placenta and fluid.

By week 11, almost all of the organs are formed and beginning to function. The kidneys begin to work hard and amniotic fluid starts to build up. Baby girl or baby boy? Time will soon tell as the genitals begin to take on proper form and function. Hair and nails are starting to grow at this point. Intestinal walls will begin to contract and practice for digestion, and fingers and toes are perfect! Starting at week 12, the liver and the pancreas start to perform their bodily functions of cleansing the blood and regulating blood sugar. Baby now has vocal cords! Ears are moving to their rightful place on the side of the head and the eyes start to move closer together. Baby is now 2 to 2 1/2 inches long, crown to cute little rump, of course.

Thus, the end of the 12th week means the end of the first trimester! First trimester takes the cake for growth and development. Now, for the rest of the pregnancy, baby will focus on fine tuning and gaining weight. And, hopefully, mom starts to focus on other things than the toilet and her pillow.